Media and movies are mediums of endorsing social behavior, latest social trends, mindsets, and bringing the hidden norms to the surface. I was watching few movies and was kind of wondering what kind of message is getting promoted through this?
Especially when it is completely open and available to Indian youth.
So there is this movie called “Sex/Life” it's a story of a woman who has been shown as a wild woman in her youth, enjoyed every thrill and adventure of lif
e. Sleeping with multiple partners, swapping partners, or spending every weekend enjoying the boundary-less life.
Further, she is married to a family man, two beautiful children and everything that is ideal for her is available as picture-perfect life. It's beautiful but something is missing which she is trying to figure out. What is it that is missing? She finds the sex is missing, the magic is missing, in her words “Love rush is missing”. Then she Strats journaling her past memories with her ex-boyfriend when she had blissfully experienced the magic she is missing now.
In this movie there are multiple messages are surfacing and it is depending on the understanding, perception, and values of the audience will be handled positively or negatively.
Missing magic in life and desire to get back, ways of working on the boring marriage. She is trying at the same time can’t resist the temptation of her wild days with her ex-boyfriend, getting stuck with the kids and family chores yet can’t live without it. The dilemma of a wild woman is now tied down in the family chores.
Her support and the best friend advising on life at the same time, indulging in the sexual relationship with this woman’s ex-boyfriend whom she is fantasizing about through journaling and being very sorted about it. It shows the sex is the way of fulfilling needs and excitement.
The love of an ex-boyfriend for this woman is shown true with multiple realizations in spite of temperament is bad (He is called bad boy) and yet not sure about his choices of life. Also, his character is shown as a bad boy who is loved by good women, who settle with good men yet fantasize about bad boys. Something interpreted as a hidden norm by society.
Adventure to bring about swapping partners and becoming a part of that community to create an essence in marriage.
Every bad boy has a horrible relationship with either of the parent in many movies which is becoming a new stereotype
Too many messages either to bring the sensation into the movie or giving too much importance to the sexual desire in life. As an Indian, researcher of gender Neutrality, Sociologist my perception of sex and its existence in life is profound. It happens in the bed but the profoundness comes when the other aspects of life, personality are balanced, unwanted mental blocks are eliminated and true self is surfaced than the sex is more beautiful, life-changing, wild and soulful, creative and prospering, overwhelming and controlling.
The wildness just to fill the lack of excitement in life is dangerous and damaging. It can take one to many places and not limit to sex. There are certain times and occasions of life everyone tries and explores but that’s not life’s satisfaction, maybe just discovering something other than normal in life.
This is with reference to one of her dialogues where she says “I have tried every position of Kamasutra with multiple partners” which was very wrongly relating Kamasutra to her wild choices, Kamasutra is written to bring newness with one partner and enjoy the bliss. Western and some Indian authors, interpreters and commentators have paid attention only to the sexual / physicality aspect, leading to the scripture’s misrepresentation. The teachings of Kamasutra go far beyond sex. It's about Emotions, body image in the act not perfect body type in the act which takes away the body-shaming aspect, Shringar means taking time to look good, love yourself, pamper yourself, well dressed and with full of ornaments, Fun games instead of tear & dare approach, equal participation of women in the act due to asana’s used. A union of Body, Mind, and soul.
The new generation is missing out on this aspect while watching such movies, there is a casual approach depicted on the account of being sorted and wanted attitude of life. This is the place where I would like to highlight the concepts from our scriptures that help a person (Man or Woman) balance or convert the sexual energy into bigger and larger aspects of life. In Indian scriptures, Sexual energy is the primordial energy encompassing creativity at the core. It used to create another life.
Sexual energy is one of the most powerful types of bioelectric energy. In the East, “excitement” is understood in terms of building up sexual energy which is not a correct definition of it. Sexual energy (located in the area of your genitalia) needs to circulate in your entire body. The aim is to preserve this energy and sublimate it into refined forms of energy.
The orgasmic energy suffuses every cell of our body. In order to be healthy and active, we need to perceive regularly this rejuvenating orgasmic energy. Once you have developed the ability to make this energy circulate through your body, you will be able to perceive this sensation through your body everywhere and anytime, it's directed in a well-established direction. Urdhvareta is the ancient yogic concept taught to transmute this energy (Ojas-Shakti) into productive pursuits.
According to the Tantric and Taoist traditions, repression of desires leads inevitably to physical and psychical unbalances but channeling to the right direction brings a new level of creativity. One needs to cultivate it as per our scriptures then disperse it because of the desires.
“Cultivating” your sexual energy does not equal uncontrollable sexual urges, but a feeling of peaceful energetic fulfillment. In the olden days, it was taught to every student by following Brahmacharya between 12 to 21 age when the child was in Gurukul under the guidance of Guru in the Ashram.
Brahmacharya literally means Achara or conduct that leads to the realization of Brahman or one’s own Self. It means the control of semen, the study of the Vedas, and contemplation on God. The technical meaning of Brahmacharya is self-restraint, particularly mastery of perfect control over the sexual organ or freedom from lust in thought, word, and deed. Once this was achieved a person was able to control many unwanted desires that lead to an imbalanced life. The married persons too were taught the importance of celibacy in marriage to learn the internal union rather than the external union of the body and fulfilling the surge of hormones.
We need more and more such schools to teach these pearls of wisdom and help every person, especially youth enjoy the wildness, love, emotions, erotism, transmuting vital energy into creativity, and use it when required with awareness. Way of Living life balanced way.
Author Rajashri Rajashekhar
Founder - Poornam Foundation
Researcher Gender Neutrality
We conduct workshops for youth, adults, women, men on various topics through our
"Institute for Gender Neutrality & Awareness"