Updated: Dec 6, 2021
Madhulika age 46 extremely accomplished & successful in her career. However, still fighting the demons of not being able to self-love. Even though life skills are taught or she is highly educated, what transpired between her and Mother no one knows. What happened between her Mother & Grandmother no one knows. It's always a secret under the role definition. Society has put a few roles on a pedestal, especially a mother's role. Neither mother has an escape from the role perception or child from expecting an ideal mother. However, these challenges demand a father or Male member to play a critical role.
There is hardly anything written about how mothers’ treatment affected women and their emotional and psychological development. Though many have written about it yet not been discussed much or publicized. There is a relationship between self-love and a mother's love. The first test of love that child learns and gets from the birth time or even before is more from the mother. Courage and confidence from the father. Though these qualities do exist in both parents'. However, the universe gives more opportunities to a woman to nurture the child hence the child is more attached to a mother for connecting, compassion, unconditional love, forgiveness, embracing, and every emotional need is fulfilled by the mother. Women who lack such love and treat children otherwise, end up searching for such love outside where touch, a hug, care, compassion, physical relationship whether true or fake make them believe as true love. They easily fall into the trap and get harassed sexually. If it's true love then it balances the missing part and heals the life of a woman.
Many times mothers end up deciding whether or not and to what degree fathers are involved in childrearing, “maternal gatekeeping.” A mother gatekeeps criticizes, disparages, or discourages her husband’s/partners efforts at childrearing; as a result, fathers are likely to withdraw from active roles.
Today with more participation from the father and male members of the society in managing the child must ensure there is enough love is given to the child and be aware of the lacking part to balance it appropriatly. There are 4 types of men described
The Yes Man - Who allows a woman to do everything
The King of the Castle - Mothers who see a daughter threat to their existence
The Absentee - Equally emotionally unavailable for the child
The Rescuer - Totally protected by their fathers from their mothers’ treatment